Prank with Pink
by Darkness Falling 13
Summary: After an incident in which Emmett winds up dressed as a princess, Emmett wages war on Jacob, the two soon become caught in a pranking battle with Rosalie caught in the middle. TWO SHOT
1. Part 1 Jacob Vs Emmett Vs Rosalie

Imprinting was simple really, you dedicate you whole life to making someone happy, and in making them happy you make yourself happy. I would do anything to make Nessie laugh to see her smile. As her family were vampires, I found myself having to get on with them for her sake, my biggest issue was not with Edward, or Bella, or even Rosalie, my problem was Emmett. His snide remarks had me on the verge of phasing, Unfortunately Nessie loved her uncle and if I were to "accidently" tear of a limb or two that would make her very unhappy indeed, do you see my predicament? If I hurt Emmett I hurt Nessie. So I couldn't hurt him and I guess he was now under the impression he could say whatever he likes and do whatever he likes to me as long as he wasn't within earshot of Bella or Doctor Cullen. I found myself on this day on the couch with Emmett and Nessie watching a football game,

"So dog," Emmett smirked "Nessie was telling me earlier how much she always wanted a pet dog,"

"Yeah!" Nessie beamed "Jake can you be my pet doggy?"

"Ness-" I prostested

"Whipped," Emmett turned his face to the TV his laugh restrained, I hated him, stupid bloodsucker, he had to open his mouth I turned myself to face a pleading Nessie,

"Jakie, if you don't be my puppy dog you can buy me a puppy dog," She grinned, knowing fine well she would get her way, but I had a plan I would side track her with an even more fun game.

"You know what Nessie was telling me earlier Emmett, how much she wanted to play princesses with her uncle," I hit his shoulder

"Yeah!" Nessie beamed once more, "Princess Emmy can you play with me?"

"Dog," Emmett muttered to me, "I think Jacob would look nice in a dress don't you?"

"He's a dog Emmy don't' be silly, Dog's don't wear dresses,"

Renesmee pulled him upstairs,

"Neither do men," I heard him murmur as he headed upstairs.

Somewhat fifteen minutes later, Alice and Renesmee pulled down Emmett, full dressed in a dress and princess outfit, I had no idea where they had gotten a dress big enough, Renesmee smiled brightly and ran up to me with a lead, I sighed as she put a bowl of water down on the ground for me to drink.

"You may have won this one Mutt, But I'll get you next time," Emmett hissed, and so the war had began.

Prank 1- Emmett's POV

Culprit- Emmett

Victim- Jacob

I had to get the dog back he had completely and utterly destroyed my manhood. But I had a plan, one that would embarrass Jacob silly. It was on a hot summers day when Bella offered to run Jacob a bath as he had gotten mucky while playing with Nessie, I came up with my plan but I needed Bella's cooperation,

"Bella, my beautiful little sister, can I run Jacob's bath?"

"Why..." She asked suspiciously

"I want to," I spoke simply,

"Fine," She muttered, that had been easy, I filled the bath with bubble bath, the bath was going to be normal, it was the shampoo Jacob should be worried about, I filled the bottle of shampoo with pin hair dye. I knew from inside sources that Jacob washed his hair with shampoo regularly. I hoped and prayed he'd wash his hair today. I ran downstairs just in time to hear Bella tell Jacob his bath was ready. I sat back and waited for the eruption. Somewhat two hours later a chuckling Edward announced that Jacob was ready to come downstairs. He came down, his hair was the first thing you saw bubblegum pink in colour bright. Nessie bounced up and down

"Jakie I love your hair!" She beamed

"now whose the princess," I grinned, his face said it all, I was in for it.

Prank two- Jacob's POV

Culprit- Jacob

Victim- Emmett

My hair was still pink, bright pink, my roots were coming in bad but Renesmee wouldn't let me dye it back normal, she liked it pink and I lived to make her happy, so I had little choice in the matter. I had to get Emmett back, and on one day my car broke down at first this was a nuisance but then Edward offered me Emmett's Jeep, so I plotted my revenge. Like he dyed my hair I would dye his car. I had a little money so I went to Edward, he knew exactly what I was asking before I said it, Mind-reading it wasn't bothering me that much anymore,

"Here's the money, I gave you extra you'll can get the interior done too," He smirked, I took the cash and drove the jeep to a high end garage, I felt slightly embarrassed asking for a pink paint job and a pink leather interior, while they were fixing up the car I went and bought some pink furry dice and a few pink accessories to go with the car. I got some really funny stares at the counter as I bought the gay and proud bumper sticker, and the I love pink sign. But the stares would be worth it in the end, I picked up his car, it was perfect, they had fixed it up short notice for some extra cash, I kitted his car out with the accessories and drove it back to the Cullen's where I left it in the garage, I entered the kitchen where all the cullen's were gathered, I winked at Edward,

"Emmett you couldn't run to the shop could you, Nessie wants some more chocolate," Edward asked, I chucked Emmett the keys, he shot me a look of fear, Emmett took the keys and went through to the garage

"No. Fucking. Way," He bellowed I heard him clearly, "MUTT!"

He returned, angry as hell, I was scared, what was he going to do next?

Carlisle's POV

A series of petty pranks were going on in my house I didn't like it one bit, first of all there was the cling film over the toilet, Jacob made an utter mess, grant you he cleaned it but none of us could use the toilet again it smelled that bad, then there was the itching powder in the washing, which not only affected Emmett but everyone else too. Rosalie however spoke out before I got the chance,

"EMMETT IT HAS TO STOP I CAN'T STOP ITCHING!" She yelled,

"That was Jacob!" Emmett insisted

"MUTT!" She went off,

"Carlisle save me," Jacob pleaded "Blondie's going to cause me to go death,"

"Perhaps I would have saved you if you had not put itching powder in the washing," I smirked at him,

"I thought it was just Emmett's clothes, Sorry doc," He apologised

"You two will stop the infantile pranks it's over!" Rosalie told them "If one more prank happens under my nose I will personally execute both of you,"

The final prank-Emmett's POV

Culprits- Jacob and Emmett

Victim- Rosalie

I had suddenly found myself liking Jacob after he had thought of the most amazing prank ever to play on my Rose. We put talcum powder in her hair dryer. We were at the door's edge watching Rose as she pulled her hairdryer out, she went to switch it one, but she had forgotten to plug it in.

"Stupid blonde," Jacob sniggered, "Forgetting to plug it in,"

Finally she switched it on, a gust of white powder engulfed the room and most importantly Rosalie, her face a picture, Anger was an understatement, she saw us peering through the crack in the door, she was covered in white powder. She went to open the door a bucket of cornflower fell on her, She exited the room and Jacob completed the prank by throwing water all over her, she was now covered in a paste that would be impossible to get off.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU BOTH!"

**I know it's not that funny, it was my first one-shot so please, please review!**


	2. Part 2 Nessie Vs Jacob Vs Emmett

**Someone suggested I make this a Two-shot so here goes it set sixteen years in the future.**

Nessie's POV

Emmett and Jacob thought they were the only ones who could prank, but they were very wrong indeed.

Prank 1

Culprit- Nessie

Victim- Jake

Halloween was upcoming, I decided I wanted to make "Candy Apples," I had Esme buy in some onions and caramel. I went about making the candy Onions, knowing Jacob loved candy apples,

"Nessie what are you doing?" Carlisle asked,

"Making Candy onions," I chuckled, Carlisle having not eaten for nearly three centuries seen nothing peculiar about dipping onions in caramel then laying them aside for Jacob to eat, Jacob entered the kitchen,

"Hmm, candy apples," He chuckled picking one up and taking a chunk out of it, his face screwed up,

"Is there something wrong with them? I spent forever making them, is it the apples, did Esme buy the wrong kind?" I acted as though I wasn't aware of my mistake, If I knew Jacob he would be stupid enough to think I was unaware that the apples were in fact onions and in a bid to spare my embarrassment he would eat his "candy apple,". He did that with a most disgusted face.

"G-g-good," He managed to splurt out,

"Would you like another?"

He shook his head, "F-f-fine with just the one- Okay I can't lie anymore those are onions!"

"I know silly," I chuckled hitting him over the head, "Aw your so sweet, you really ate that to make me happy,"

His face was a picture I would never forget. My next target Emmett.

Prank 2

Culprit- Nessie

Victim- Emmett,

For this prank I needed Roses' cooperation, I knew she would be willing as she still wasn't over the "hairdryer incident," she agreed as I thought she would and was impressed by my idea. I bought her a fat suit, (Because yes Vampires put on weight if they drank one or two more bears than they should of). I dressed her up perfectly, it wasn't a big difference, but big enough that Emmett would be a little put off. I sat on the sofa with Rose as Emmett walked through the door,

"I was thinking of dieting but, I don't know, I've been really thirsty lately," Rose sighed, Emmett walked through and dropped his car keys as he stared at Rose, "What are you looking at?"

Emmett looked at her with utter shock,

"You're-"

"what I'm fat," Rose stood up looking hurt "You not attracted to me anymore,"

"No I am, look at those boobs," He smirked "Wow, there humongous!"

He beamed, this prank backfired, I guess I'd just have to put food colouring in his toothpaste like I had originally planned.

Prank three

Culprits- Emmett and Jacob

Victim- Nessie

Jacob's POV

Emmett smiled a wide smile his yellow teeth, nearly luminous, he still wasn't aware. I had come up with the most amazing plan ever to get Renesmee back for the onion prank, I had bought exact copies of all her clothes (With the help of Alice) but in smaller sizes, I had also done the same with her shoes. It had cost a lot of money, but it would be well worth it.

Day one

Nessie came downstairs with a pair of three quarter lengths that had originally been full length jeans, her belly was hanging out of them the top she was wearing was tight around her and her bra was clearly too small. Bella looked at her daughter with the upmost curiosity,

Day two

Nessie came downstairs wearing a dress that barely covered her bum, luckily she had a pair of leggings underneath. Her face was bright pink,

"C-c-carlisle," She muttered "I've been putting on a lot of weight lately, all my clothes are too small,"

Emmett and I decided we would let Carlisle go through with the tests, that Nessie demanded. He sat her down on a bed and took a blood sample.

Day three

Nessie came downstairs Carlisle at her back, she was grinning like an idiot. Her shorts were more like pants, her tank top was now a belly top.

"Jacob, you know how I've been putting on weight lately?" Renesmee smiled

"Uh yeah..."

"I'm pregnant," My heart stopped, this prank had just seriously backfired, Emmett grew angry, and nearly pounced on me,

"She's eighteen you idiot, too young wait till Edward hears this!" Emmett yelled,

"It wasn't me!"

"Who else was it then you idiot?" Renesmee snapped, I was fucked.

The 4th prank

Culprits- Nessie

Victim- Jacob

I had a plan, to make Jacob have a heart attack. But I needed a lot of Carlisle's cooperation, I was going to tell Jacob I was having sextuplets. Carlisle forged a scan picture (not that Jacob would tell the difference anyway). I took the picture and headed downstairs to meet the father of my "six" unborn children. I smiled and hugged him,

"how are my two favourite people in the world doing?" Jacob asked his hand trailing down to my stomach,

"Great, the seven of us are doing great," I grinned, he let go of me,

"what!"

"we're having sextuplets," I handed him the forged scan picture. His face dropped

The final prank

Culprit- Carlisle

Victim- Nessie

Nessie had came to me and asked me to forge a fake scan picture of sextuplets. She was blissfully unaware however that the scan picture I had given her of sextuplets was not a fake, she was in fact having sextuplets. I let her believe that it was fake, I heard her telling Jacob it was all a joke he began laughing, I knew his laughing would soon stop, this was my time to break the news. I headed downstairs and approached them

"so doc where's the real scan picture?" Jacob asked

"You've got it in your hands," I chuckled "See Renesmee asked me for a sextuplet scan I gave her one, but it was really her own ,congratulations your having three girls and three boys,"

Nessie's face was a picture

"Your being serious?" Nessie asked

"I swear on myself and Esme's existence," I insisted

Nessie smiled

"Yay, I already have the names picked out the first boy will be Carlisle William, then Edward Jacob, then Emmett Jasper, then for the girls it will be Esme Sarah, then Isabella Renee, and then it will be little Rosalie Alice!"

It was then Jacob fainted.

**Thanks for reading! Please review I know it wasn't that funny.**


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